"Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.”

My friend, T.C., sent this to me in a letter just before he left for his return home from Texas. Now, sending me letters alone are usually touching enough, but given our recent conversations, this was a much needed quote.

People make assumptions about me...that I'm a bad person, or that I am uncaring. This could not be further from the truth. I could sit here and type out my defense to you, but all in all, that would be a pointless effort. These people, most of them strangers to me, will not read this or take time to see if I truly match up to their expectations. I know I shouldn't care about what they think of me, because I know myself and my friends know me and my family knows me, the people who's opinion actually matters.

But still, from time to time, I feel a bit of hurt when I hear from a third party some people's comments about me... "She says I can't talk to you, because she thinks you're gonna take me.." "She said you were bad mouthing her friend in order to get her fired.." "They are telling people rumors about you, why? I don't know, they just don't like you, I guess..." A lot of the time I take time to sit and think about these accusations : What did I do to make them think these things? Why do they think I'm a bad person? How can they say this when they've never even talked to me?

I could never bring myself to do that to another person. I admit, my hands are not clean from bad mouthing a person, but I feel as though I at least had some tangible evidence or experience to go off of. I wonder if these people know how much their comments hurt? How much it stings when you hear an untrue rumor about you?

It's almost worse when they're friends of a friend, then all you can do is watch them and think "Don't you know what they've done to me?" it gives you that false sense that now even your own friend doesn't care, because if they did they would say something...

...right? Would you? Would I?

But back to the quote. I guess in a way, it really only matters if one person knows I'm doing good. I shouldn't let the negative thoughts and comments deter me from who I really want to be. They shouldn't control my actions. They shouldn't cause me to hate. If anything, I should grow larger than them, and see that love is really lacking in the world we live in, and it should drive me to do and show it more.

I just want to continue loving <3