Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Sooo... I've been writing things down lately. Thoughts. Quotes. Other meaningless phrases. And I'm going to start posting them on here.
I want to clarify though: I am in no way trying to make myself look awesome, or deep, or smart, ect. These will be here for me to reflect on later, or for you to ponder yourself.
Comments are welcome, as always.
I found this blogging site when I was surfing stumpleupon.com, and this is the first article that popped up. Read it. It's really quite lovely :)
The Second Time You Fall In Love With Someone
Aug. 16, 2011
The second time you fall in love with someone, you’re going to feel so relieved. When you get your heart broken for the first time, you can’t imagine loving someone else again or having someone else love you. You worry about your ex finding love before you do, you worry about being damaged goods. And then it happens. Someone else loves you and you can sleep well at night.
The second time you fall in love with someone, it’s going to feel different. The first time felt like a dream almost. You were untouched, untainted by anyone. You accepted love with wide open arms and desperation. “Love me, love me, love me!” So you did. And then it fell apart and left you shocked to the core. You realized that people could be cruel and break your heart. You realized that people could stop meaning the sweet things they said to you just yesterday. So when you go into it again, you’re going to keep in mind everything that you’ve learned. You’re going to say, “Love me, love me, love me…until you don’t. In which case, I would like some advance warning. Thanks!”
The second time you fall in love with someone, you’re going to compare it to your first love. That’s okay. That’s natural. You’re going to be studying the new love with judgement and wariness. “My ex never liked broccoli. Why the hell does this one eat so much broccoli?!” Discovering that you have the ability to love multiple people who are different and feel different is initially very jarring. Loving an unfamiliar body will leave you disoriented and in dire need of a map. That’s okay too. That’s to be expected. Just ask the new love for directions.
The second time you fall in love with someone, you’re going to suffer from a bout of amnesia. You’re going to poke and prod at your lover’s body and be like, “Wait, how do I do this again? How do I love you? I think it starts with us having a moment together in some coffee shop, right?” It’s going to feel scary at first. Falling in love is sort of like riding a bike though. You never really forget.
The second time you fall in love with someone, you’ll be a more sane person. Your first love is when you get all of your insanity out. You behave like an insane monster because your mind is freaking out about all these new powerful feelings. By the second time, however, you have an idea of what works and what doesn’t. It’s by no means perfect. The insanity will make a cameo at some point. “Peek a boo. I’m here! Hope you didn’t forget about me!” But you can usually shoo it away after awhile.
The second time you fall in love with someone, you will hopefully have better sex. Do not quote me on this.
The second time you fall in love with someone will still be exciting and you might even talk about moving in together or marriage. It will feel more “adult.” You have no idea what adult love actually is but you think it involves making coffee for each other in the morning and maybe even getting a dog. “This is my dog, Xan. I got him with the second person I fell in love with because that’s what you do! The first person I was in love with would’ve killed a dog.”
The second time will not be the first time. The first time is an insane magical life gift that you can never reclaim. But that’s okay. The second time is more real anyway. The second time can involve some amazing love.
I know we ALL get that feeling, you come home one night, take a seat, and realize that something is missing. Sometimes it's easy to spot what exactly 'it ' is: a person, a hobby, a job, lost passion, ect. Other times, we haven't the slightest clue what's causing our heart to take a plunge on these seemingly random nights.
That's the kind I'm having right now, the one where my heart is trying to tell me I need something, but I can't see just what that is at the moment. The only feeling I have is that it's something new; something I haven't ever experienced yet in my life, and it's standing just around the corner, waiting patiently for me to find that missing piece, but I forgot how to walk forward and keep bumping into the wall. And though I knock and bang, it just won't turn into the easy door I want it to be. The obvious is certain: you can't achieve anything new by repeating the same steps over again.
I wonder if there's extra pieces everywhere? Do we hold others' missing pieces? Just laying around, all sorts and shapes. Even if we pick it up, and try it on, it will only fit with the one it matches. A predetermined fate. Everything I know points to not trusting that idea, that only I can build and cut out the life I want. I don't know what I want, so how can I do that? I feel enthralled and inspired by the people I meet, who tell me that one day they somehow ran into that missing piece and went, "Wow, yes! This is EXACTLY what I was meant to do with my life." And they just truly know.
